Operation: BOG
by Gemmz
Summary: I got this idea from Operation SPANK, an existing episode. After being taunted and laughed at by the other villains, the Toiletnator decides to turn against them... by joining KND!


Is it just me, or are my fics getting longer? Ah well, here's yet another crazy story fished out from my distorted imagination. I should warn you, prepare for some out-of-characterness, particularly in the first scene...

Disclaimer: I don't own KND but if I did I would most likely be ruling the world right now.

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**Operation: B.O.G:**

**Better**

**Off**

**Good? **

"Par-tay!" Father announced, yelling like a lunatic as he and his villainous friends were having the time of their lives.

There was an exciting game of "Pin The Tail On The Crazy Cat Lady" in the corner of the room. It was the Delightful Children From Down The Lane against the Interesting Twins From Beneath The Mountain, and the reason why it was so exciting was that the Crazy Cat Lady could get a pin prodded in her butt any second. Don't ask. Seriously.

The teenagers Chad and Cree were in a hot tub together. 'Nuff said. I won't go into details. And there was another hot tub, which was presently being occupied by Chester and Gramma Stuffum, so I am tempted to go into even less detail here.

The dance floor was packed. Mr Boss was shakin' his thing. The Proper Patrol weren't acting quite as "proper" as they do sometimes. Meanwhile, the Common Cold and Professor Triple Extra Large were dancing together, hand in hand.

Stickybeard the pirate and his henchmen were rotting their teeth in a pile of candy, which Robin Food had just brought in for them. The ice cream men joined them with their own snacks. They were beginning to get a little tired, however, of Knightbrace's constant whining of how many cavities they will be getting. So Dumb John Silver hit him with a candy cane.

Mr Fizz wasn't doing any good to his teeth either. He was serving soda to the other villains, but keeping most of it for himself. Cuppa Joe was beside him serving coffee, and Mr Wink and Mr Fibb were enjoying them. All that caffeine was getting them in a very hyper mood. In a word, "spazzy". Cool word, huh?

SPAZZY! (don't ask why I did that)

Well, one particular character obviously didn't think it was very cool. "Just look at yourselves!" the Toiletnator gasped. "All that caffeine isn't good for you. I thought I warned you about what it does to your... _regularity_!"

"You know what your problem is?" asked Mr Wink. "You never let yourself have any fun. Isn't that right, Mr Fibb?"

"Indeed, Mr Wink," replied Mr Fibb. "He is a true party-pooper."

The Toiletnator burst out laughing. "Ha, ha! A party-pooper! That's a classic. HA!" Suddenly he realized something. "I don't get it."

Mr Fizz laughed. "Of course you don't!" he said. "You don't get anything about parties. You never have a drink and let yourself go."

"And you never dance like crazy!" Cuppa Joe yelled, who had obviously had a cuppa too many. "Woo-hoo!"

At this point, Joe jumped onto the table and knocked over a hot mug of coffee. It landed on the Toiletnator in such a place, it looked like he'd had an 'accident'. "I guess that's what we'd expect from you!" laughed Mr Fizz.

"Hey everybody," Count Spankulot called in his Transylvanian accent. "The Toiletnator is the biggest loser here. Let's all point and laugh at his humiliation!"

Everybody got out of the hot tubs and off the dance floor to do as the Count said. It wasn't the humiliation that upset the Toiletnator - he was kinda used to that. It was more the fact that he _was_ used to it. The other villains always picked on him, and he just couldn't understand why he didn't fit in like the others. After all, was he _not_ the coolest guy around? crickets chirp to break the silence

"That's it!" announced the Toiletnator. "Who needs you guys? You're all just a bunch of bullies anyway! I'll show you. I'll show you all just how great I really am!" And with that, he left the mansion, thus leaving the party (in tears of course).

Once he had gone, everyone burst out laughing. The Common Cold laughed so hard he made himself sneeze over everyone. With everyone covered in slimy green stuff, there was a short silence. Breaking this silence, Cree said, "I'm getting back in the hot tub." Some various villains agreed to do the same.

Just a short while away from the mansion, inside a Treehouse, two kids were having a stare-out contest. Again, don't ask. I just need stuff to put in this story. This round had been going on for a long time, now, and it was getting more and more exciting. At least for the competitors. The others were just plain bored.

"Oh, one of you guys blink already!" Numbuh Three yelled impatiently.

It seemed like it was going to go on forever, when Numbuh One suddenly wailed, "Alright, I confess! I keep blinking under my sunglasses! Numbuh Four, how do you do it?"

No reply. "Numbuh Four?" asked Numbuh One.

Numbuh Four appeared to be in his 'dumb' state right now. That would explain why he didn't blink. "Hmm..." Numbuh One thought for a moment. "Maybe I should have played against someone a little smarter."

"Good one, Numbuh Four," Numbuh Two sniggered. "You showed him!"

"Better luck next time, Numbuh One," Numbuh Five smiled.

"Well done, Wally!" Numbuh Three said happily, running up and hugging him.

That put him back into reality. "Oww... my eyes sting!" he wailed. "What just happened?"

Numbuh Two and Numbuh Five burst out laughing. Numbuh Three continued to hug him, until he pushed her aside. "I've gotta wash my eyes, if that's even possible," he said, heading towards the bathroom.

Numbuh One smiled. To the others, he said, "Well my eyes don't hurt. I am the supreme starer!"

"Nah, you just crazy," Numbuh Five said.

"Besides, you cheated!" Numbuh Three pointed out.

"For a so-called workaholic he sure has his moments!" Numbuh Two said to the others, who giggled quietly in reply.

Meanwhile, Numbuh Four was busy damping his dry eyes. With loads of water in his eyes, he had trouble seeing. He thought he heard someone moving - in fact, he thought he heard someone jump out of the toilet. Oo-er. He reached for the towel, found something soft, and wiped his eyes with it. He opened his eyes to see that he'd just dried them on toilet paper. "Hey! This stuff ain't even 2-ply!" Numbuh Four complained.

He then looked upwards to see where it was coming from. "My greatest nemesis!" the Toiletnator gasped.

"What the crud?" Numbuh Four began.

Suddenly, the bathroom door came flying off its hinges, which as you can imagine surprised the other Kids Next Door. Numbuh Four had pounced onto the Toiletnator and they had come crashing through. Simple as that!

"Kids Next Door, battle stations!" Numbuh One immediately yelled, and the others grabbed any nearby weapons that they could.

"Wait! Stop!" the Toiletnator yelled while being slapped silly. "I come in peace, people!"

"Like we're gonna fall for that one!" Numbuh Two said.

"No, really," the Toiletnator continued. "Just stop it!"

Seeing that he had information for them, Numbuh One ordered, "Kids Next Door, stand down," and everyone stopped attacking. With the Toiletnator lying on the floor, completely worn out, Numbuh One walked over to him. "Okay, talk," he instructed.

"I'm not here to attack you kids," the Toiletnator explained. "I just wanna help you against the other supervillains."

"Yeah, right!" Numbuh Five replied.

"And you expect us to believe that?" Numbuh Four shrugged.

"Well it's true!" the Toiletnator said. "They don't want to fight aside me, so I'm converting to the kids' side. I want to help you guys get revenge on all the times they've kicked your butts."

"Actually, we tend to do that anyway," Numbuh One informed him.

"Oh, right," the Toiletnator hesitated. Then he smiled and asked, "So can I join your club?"

Everyone stared at him. "What?" they all asked at once.

"The Kids Next Door is strictly for kids only!" Numbuh One told him. "You'd be a direct violation of the rules, and I'm pretty sure Numbuh 65.3 wouldn't like that."

"What if you keep me as a secret?" asked the Toiletnator, with a slight bit of hope in his voice.

"That's just plain stupid!" Numbuh Four said. "And I don't do stupid!"

"Actually..." Numbuh Two grinned, but Numbuh Five elbowed him before he said anything he might regret.

"We can't take that risk," Numbuh One said, although by now he was pretty sure that the villain wasn't making stuff up - after all, who would want him on their team? "You're an adult and we're not about to let you into our team!"

At that point the Toiletnator burst into tears. "Okay, you're in!" Numbuh One said quickly.

He stopped crying right away. "Hey, thanks!" he smiled.

"Why in the name of crud did you do that?" Numbuh Four asked.

"Go easy on me, Numbuh Four," Numbuh One said quietly. "I'm already regretting it..."

So that evening, the Toiletnator joined them for dinner. As they munched on their nachos, he was telling them many _fascinating_ stories (there's sarcasm there). "So I walked in and Mr Boss says, 'Hello, Loser!'" and then he burst out laughing.

"And this is funny because...?" Numbuh One asked.

"My name isn't 'Loser', it's 'Toiletnator'!" and he laughed again.

Numbuh Two and Numbuh Five exchanged confused expressions. Numbuh Three stared at him blankly. Numbuh Four started headbutting the table with fury. "How about we change the subject?" Numbuh One asked, trying to stop the nachos from falling off the table (due to Numbuh Four's headbutting).

"Okay, okay, here's another story of mine," the Toiletnator began. Everyone groaned. "Last week I found this sandwich under my bed..."

You get the idea.

The Toiletnator was so sleepy after going to a party he ran away from and then telling a load of stupid stories that fortunately, bedtime was quite peaceful. The next morning, however, wasn't.

"Aww... we're out of Rainbow Munchies!" Numbuh Three seemed a little depressed when she went to get her breakfast.

"But that's the best cereal of 'em all," Numbuh Two stated. "Are you sure there isn't another box in there?"

"Don't worry, team," Numbuh One said. "I'm sure we can fit in a mission before breakfast to go get some."

"No!" the Toiletnator called, jumping in front of him. "I'll get them for you."

Behind him, Numbuh One could see his friends silently telling him this was a bad idea. Numbuh One turned back to the Toiletnator. "You know what?" he smiled. "That's very kind of you. Why don't you run along and do that?"

"Oh, goody!" the Toiletnator smiled. "You will not be disappointed!"

He ran into a nearby bathroom, jumped into the toilet and flushed himself down - as you do. "Now we can have a quick private meeting," Numbuh One said to his teammates.

"Ooh... nice work, Numbuh One," Numbuh Five smiled.

"Yeah, didn't see that coming," agreed Numbuh Two.

"So what's the plan, Numbuh One?" asked Numbuh Four.

"Well I think we all know that the villains won't be wanting him back," Numbuh One explained. "So we're gonna have to make them want him back. That way he'll go willingly and we'll be free. And I have just the plan that'll..."

They heard an explosion coming from the drains. "Sorry!" a voice called.

Later, Numbuh 65.3 was in view on the large plasma screen, talking to Numbuh One, who was a little worried that he could find out about them having a villain in their sector. "Well, Numbuh One," Numbuh 65.3 said sternly. "You curiosity and carelessness has left you and your base with no useable bathrooms, a telling off to dread from Numbuh 362, and some very... uncomfortable teammates."

Numbuh One couldn't tell him that the Toiletnator had been hanging out with them and had accidentally blown up the drainpipes, so he had explained how he was inspecting them to see how they work. Lame and gross excuse, but it's all he could think of at the time. "I will call some of our best 2x4 engineers to come sort out your drainpipes, so that shouldn't be a problem. However, you can't just go around your Treehouse carelessly taking things apart if you don't know the consequences."

Just then, the Toiletnator ran over to the others. "I'm not sure how to fix that," he said. "And I'm sorry I never got the cereal, but I just saw Count Spankulot making his way over here. We've got to fight him!"

Numbuh 65.3 had seen this, and then he gave Numbuh One another stern look. Numbuh One did a silly, weak laugh. "Numbuh 362 is gonna want to hear about this," Numbuh 65.3 said angrily. "And I'm sure Numbuh 86 will as well!"

Numbuh 86 was head of decommissioning, so Numbuh One didn't want to chance this. "No, wait!" he gulped quickly. "Let me explain..." and he told him the story of how it was either let him in or let him cry and annoy them for the rest of their lives. Numbuh 65.3 sighed.

"Look," he said. "You're just lucky that I'm in a good mood today because I've got a brand new pocket protector," the Toiletnator seemed preoccupied with Count Spankulot flying over to the Treehouse, so while he was looking out the window at this, Numbuh 65.3 continued. "I'll tell you what; if you can get him back with the other supervillains before the end of today, I won't tell anyone about this. But like I said, you're really lucky. I'll send for those engineers."

"Thanks, Numbuh 65.3," Numbuh One said as the transmission ended. "You heard him," he said, turning to his team, but speaking quietly enough not to be heard by the Toiletnator the other side of the room (who had caught his toilet paper between two planks of wood on the wall and was now preoccupied trying to free himself). "We've got to get the other villains to take him back in again."

"How the crud are we gonna do that?" Numbuh Four asked. "He's the biggest loser in the history of supervillains!"

Before Numbuh One could say anything else, Count Spankulot came shooting through the window, breaking the glass in his entrance. "Naughty childrens have been breaking the Global KND Rules, and childrens are not allowed to break any rules!" he wasn't actually sure why he was saying this - after all, he didn't like the KND rules himself. Ah well. "So now you shall feel the stinging wrath of Count Spankulot!" He was in the middle of a Transylvanian laugh, when the Toiletnator suddenly interrupted him.

"Wait!" he gasped. "If you're attacking them... it doesn't mean you're going to attack me too, does it?"

"Of course it does!" the Count replied. "You broke the rules too. The supervillain rules, which I care about a lot more!"

"But I don't want to be spanked," the Toiletnator yelled. "It isn't fair!"

"Kids Next Door, battle stations!" Numbuh One yelled.

"So now we have to fight?" Numbuh Two groaned. "Haven't we been through enough lately?"

"Yeah, those stories were torture enough," Numbuh Five said.

"Not to mention that we never had any breakfast today because of him!" Numbuh Three added.

"And because of him we haven't been able to go to the bathroom all day!" Numbuh Four complained. "He is the most annoying villain ever! No matter how hard any other cruddy villain tries, I don't think any of them could be as annoying as him!"

Count Spankulot thought for a moment. "I've never thought about it like that before," he said. "And neither have the other supervillains!"

"What?" shrugged the Toiletnator.

"You really are good at your job," Spankulot replied. "Never has there been an adult as annoying to kids as you."

"Wow," the Toiletnator beamed with happiness. "It's like... my superpower!"

"Exactly," Numbuh One said. "So why don't you two go on home and talk to the other villains about these superpowers?"

"Are you crazy?" Spankulot asked. "I'm leaving him here with you. How do you expect him to annoy you when he's at home with me?"

With that, Count Spankulot flew out of another window (more glass broke). "Great," Numbuh One said sarcastically. "So we're stuck with him?"

"Oh for the love of crud!" Numbuh Four yelled. "I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!"

"Numbuh Four _thinks_?" Numbuh Five asked.

Numbuh Four dragged the Toiletnator up some stairs, out onto a balcony, and shot him out of the clam cannon. He ran back over to the others. "He's heading towards Father's mansion as we speak!" he smiled.

"Good work, Numbuh Four," Numbuh One smiled. Then, through one of the broken windows, Numbuhs 202 and 222 jet-booted in (jet-booted?).

"We're here to sort out your drain problem," Numbuh 202 said. Both operatives immediately got to work.

"Isn't this great?" Numbuh One asked his team. "We got away with breaking a rule, defeated an enemy and soon we'll be able to use the bathrooms again."

"Funny thing though, Numbuh One," Numbuh Four said. "With all the excitement of blasting off that enemy, I don't need to go anymore."

"Ew..." Numbuh One heard the other three say.

End Transmission

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Icky, huh? Hope you enjoyed that, and don't forget to tell me what you think of it! 


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